My "Instant Happy" Happiness Tool

Happiness abounds, or does it? For me the answer would be yes! I prefer to live happy, and it is a preference I work on, though not as much as I used to. I've always been optimistic, a resilient sort who views the glass half full. Just as I went from running to becoming a runner, I nurtured my optimism and grew into a full blown optimist. The quiz I took even says so! (LearnedOptimism by Martin E. P. Seligman, PhD)

There have been events, situations and people along the way that have shaped my positive perspective. Most have come in the form of challenges namely my sons and their disabilities as well as my own battle with breast cancer. Others have come in the form of inspiration such as Ellen Degeneres, TeamHoyt and YouTube sensations like Kid President and Arthur, the paratrooper turned yogi .

I also use what I like to call inspirational quotes, aka words of wisdom. Just a few of the right words can give an attitude adjustment in just a few seconds. Just a few of the right words can set the tone in a classroom, opening young minds to endless possibilities. Just a few of the right words can give perspective on life or compassion for the life of another. Just a few of the right words can bolster strength and fortitude in order to accomplish the seemingly impossible.

I would like to share some words of wisdom that summarize how I evolved from being optimistic into being an optimist. In her book Instant Happy, Karen Salmanshon says, “Much of the pain in life comes from having a life plan that you've fallen in love with, but that doesn't work out. Having to find a new life plan hurts. The trick is not to become attached to any particular life plan and to remember that there is always a better, EVEN-HAPPIER life plan out there somewhere.”

It wasn't in the plan to have two children with disabilities, but it happened. It wasn't in the plan to have breast cancer, but it happened. Over the course of a decade, I learned that I cannot count on any plan, best laid, well-intentioned, or fool-proof. What I can count on is my ability to patiently and lovingly embrace any plan as it unfolds in front of me. 

To illustrate, two years ago I put in for a transfer which I would call blind. I was requesting to leave one school, and with that request I had to be okay with ending up wherever they found a spot for me. I didn’t just throw caution to the wind, I threw my hat in the ring, I signed on the dotted line, I was all in. I was a little taken aback at colleagues who were afraid for me. Why be afraid? The new prospective job did not scare a little ol' optimist like me because I knew I was taking me to go do it!

Ski Lessons

After Porter's incessant requests for ski lessons, he got his wish. Last week was his first lesson provided by the National Ability Center, a world renowned program that allows for people of different abilities to participate in recreational activities. We are very fortunate to have access to this service so close to home.

On our way up last week, Porter assured me that he was going to be awesome because he is "one-of-a-kind." He definitely has had quite a one-of-a-kind determination and persistence since birth. Not being able to something the "typical" way has never been a deterrent. Porter just finds another way, a different way, an alternative.
After arriving at the ski resort, checking in, and picking up equipment we finally met the instructor. Both of us were surprised to see that Porter's instructor has a physical disability and skis using adaptive equipment. Truthfully, I was surprised, Porter thought it was cool.
There were many different physical and intellectual disabilities among the ski and snowboard students. It was such great reinforcement for Porter, who seems to notice all that people are able to do, and not just in spite of their limitations. I think it's great that Porter can see in others what he sees in himself, ability.

He's such a great kid. I'm lucky to have such an inspiration as a part of my life. I am grateful to watch him tackle his latest conquest. Cheers to lesson number 2!

Blurry

I'm not referring to what extreme nearsightedness has done to my eyesight. I'm also not talking about the snowy blizzard that has decreased visibility and increased driving time.I'm commenting on the line dividing 2012 from 2013, a line that appears blurry. The demarcation of time between "then" and "now" has come and gone and little has changed. It's difficult to explain, probably because I don't quite understand it myself.
I don't believe the blur comes from a lack of resolutions. It's not that I'm not big on resolutions, I just set them throughout the year. Though the first of a new year is a great time to start being a number of things (healthier, more responsible, etc...) so is every other day of the year. The new year can be a catalyst or an excuse to wait "until then." People do it all the time, procrastinate action "until then." Maybe it's the revolving door of resolutions that has blurred the years together.
Last year I resolved to celebrate my birthday year, and have figured out a way to make that year equal 15 months. A celebration of my birthday year would include the whole year in which I turned 40 as well as the year counted from my that birthday to the next. Since my birthday is the last day in March, that gave me all of 2012, plus the first three months of this year. It's been a wonderful celebration of life so far, my best year yet!
Since my 5 year breast cancer survivorship coincided with my turning 40, I also resolved to celebrate just being alive. My gratefulness led me to take my running to a different kind of level and run a race for each of my 40 years, from one birthday to the next. I'm 75% of the way finished. I completed two 5k races on New Years Day, bringing my current total to 30. I'm registered for 7 races, have another couple picked out, and am looking for one more. Check out my tentative schedule and feel free to join me.
I also had one other resolution, more of a wish, a birthday wish. What do you get a girl who has more than enough wants and is fortunate enough to need for very little? Tickets to the Ellen show! That's right! It took  work, faith and patience, but all totally worth it. I can't wait to share my upcoming experience with you!
I'm not complaining about the blur. It's not the where-did-the-time-go blur. It's an everyday-is-a-celebration kind of blur. Each day really is special, enjoy it, and the next and the next and the next.

Easier?

I know life isn't easy, but could it be a little easier? Just every once in awhile? I'd even take every once in a long while.
We started meeting with an orthodontist over 2 years ago, suggested by our dentist. So 2 1/2 years later, with a mouth full of more teeth than he has room for, Porter is still not any closer to being a brace face. We have been ping ponged between his dentist, orthodontist and oral surgeon. It has been recommended that we pursue more expertise, possibly out of state, which we started doing.
In the meantime, I switched his dentist who at his check up wondered why we hadn't been in contact with an orthodontist. When I explained the run around we'd been getting, he set us up for consultations with two different doctors. We had one of those appointments today.
The recommendation: go to the craniofacial clinic at Primary Children's. BIG SIGH.....
It seriously took almost 3 years to figure this out? And I'm not just blaming the doctors, I blame my seemingly intelligent self too. We are essentially back to square one, going back to where Porter started and stayed the first few weeks of his life. He's seen more than his share of doctors too, so we're all wondering, why at 12? Why not at 6? or 4? or 9?
I'm obviously oversimplifying the story, but I don't have the energy to rehash all the mixed messages and incomplete diagnosis we've dealt with over the years. I'm just hoping for answers, Porter is too.
I just need to vent and rant just a little. I know that there are others struggling much more than we are, with challenges much greater. I just wish that every once in a long while, something could be easy. Until then, I will focus my frustration on whatever needs to be done to get Porter the answers he so deserves.

Mom, Mommy, Mother...

As the beginning of the new school year approaches, and I prepare to return to work, I must reflect on an age old argument. And by reflect on, I of course mean to get on my soap box about. Sorry, but I must vent, just a little.
Let's start with a question: When your kids address you, do they call you "Stay-at-Home Mom" or "Working Mom?" I think not, so why do we do that to each other? We're all moms, right? Stay-at-moms work hard and working moms don't love their any children less.
The saddest thing about these assumptions and others regarding different types of moms, is that they mostly come from moms and are directed to other moms. We are harder on each other than our children and spouses could ever be.
Being a mom is not easy, no matter the forum or circumstances. I have been fortunate enough to experience both sides, working during the school year and staying at home for summers. Motherhood is a tough, 24/7, tiring and rewarding job for ALL mothers.
Let's end with a question: Why aren't we more supportive of each other in this challenging yet magical endeavor?

Live and Let Live

This started as a status post on fb, but as it grew in length I decided that I really needed to blog about it instead. The catalyst for this post is the Chick-fil-A hubbub flying around the net. I've been bothered by the back and forth hurtling of meanness and the way that some are using the First Amendment as justification that it's okay to say what you want. To a certain extent I agree and am grateful we have the rights defined in the First Amendment. But what was it that we were always taught? Our rights end where another's begins? So my right to swing my fist ends at the tip of your nose, that's the gist anyway. Maybe that's childish simplicity, but that seems to be the MO of the "debate" happening over Chick-fil-A, childish.
Again, I am grateful for my First Amendment rights, but the extent to which I agree ends when people put action behind those words. In my view, Chick-fil-A has done more than just aired their opinions of prejudice, they have become discriminators by acting on that prejudice to support the limitation of the rights and freedoms of others. Interesting how First Amendment rights are being used in an attempt to suppress rights.
Many of us lead a life of privilege where we rarely, if ever question any of our rights because we're never challenged in that way. I include my self in that group, and have referred to myself as just another all American girl, minus the blue eyes and blond hair. But I also include myself in another group, actually several groups, that have experienced discrimination. My first experiences with prejudice and discrimination happened as a child, growing up in an almost exclusively white small town with a predominant religious influence. I was not white and I was not of the predominant religion, and everyone knew it.
I have continued to personally experience racial/ethnic discrimination in different forms until this day, mostly subtle though sometimes shockingly overt. I regularly observe others that are discriminated against for the same reason. I've also experienced gender discrimination, as I'm sure is not uncommon among women. I've even experienced some ageism. Being viewed as younger may not seem like a negative thing unless it's used as professional prejudice. I've also learned a lot about the injustices that people with disabilities face, with my children as my teachers.
Anyway, I don't want to be preachy or seem high and mighty on my soap box. I just want you to take a moment to consider if something of importance to you was held hostage. If your ability to interact with something you believed in was limited or non-existent, or in fact, against the law. How would that make you feel as a human being? Do you want to be responsible for creating that feeling in others?

Whoosh...

That’s the sound of summer, flying by my pleading eyes, arms madly waving, and shouts of “Wait! Slow down! I love you!” I love you? Whoa, summer isn’t even my favorite season! But, as I’m sure you would agree, it’s a seductive one. Summer is coy, luring you in after a wet and rainy Spring. Then it moves into the more serious business of drugging you with infusions of Vitamin D. It wraps you in warmth and laziness then renders you delirious with record high temps. 

Chasing the sun around the yard.

I am more than halfway through summer. Sadly, summer has a beginning and end, even more delineated for those of us who teach. I’ve always had fun summers (minus one: chemo treatments), but this one has been especially enjoyable. I can’t put my finger on it, probably because I’d need more than the fingers I have on two hands to pinpoint all that has contributed to the season so far.

Luckily, it’s not over yet. There’s still about four weeks left. A lot can happen in four weeks, as a lot did happen in six. And if I play it right, summer doesn’t have to end when work begins. Last year I enjoyed a little summer in October, boating in Lake Powell. And if summer decides to exit early, or if going back to work gets in the way, I’ll just fall in love with Fall.