Keep Proving Me Wrong!

I did something tonight that I've been afraid to do. I went to Porter's wrestling practice. Not being there was more than just about not wanting to see him fail. It was about not wanting to see what broke his spirit last week. It was about not wanting to see him fail while he was putting every once of his being into doing his best while failing. It was about not wanting to see how much easier it was for the other kids. It was about me wanting to protect him from disappointment. It was about me not knowing how to be there for him, a determined boy being sabotaged by his own body.

He's the one on top.

We actually had a little talk this afternoon before practice. In fact it's been one of a few that Clint and/or I have had with him about his wrestling venture. We know how frustrating it's been for Porter. We wanted to give him an "out" without making it seem like he was quitting or giving up. I think he took that out at least 3 times, including today right after our talk. And then at least 3 times, one time for each time he "quit," he quickly reversed his decision with an emphatic "I'm NOT giving up!" which he repeated a few times for even greater emphasis.
After our talk he went to get ready for practice, shouting "I'M NOT GIVING UP!" a half dozen times as he was changing. So I decided that in order to be there for Porter, I need to stop feeling sorry for myself and be there to cheer him on. I'm so glad he decided not to quit and even more glad that I decided to go to the practice. He did so great! And according to Clint, there has been improvement. There was not a trace of the disappointment and frustration that I saw last week.
As we were walking out Porter turned to me and said, "Mom, are you so proud of me." Yes! Yes! and Yes! Those of you that know us well, know that this isn't the only time Porter has proved us wrong. When will I learn to stop doubting this persistent, determined, and extraordinary kid?