Blurry

I'm not referring to what extreme nearsightedness has done to my eyesight. I'm also not talking about the snowy blizzard that has decreased visibility and increased driving time.I'm commenting on the line dividing 2012 from 2013, a line that appears blurry. The demarcation of time between "then" and "now" has come and gone and little has changed. It's difficult to explain, probably because I don't quite understand it myself.
I don't believe the blur comes from a lack of resolutions. It's not that I'm not big on resolutions, I just set them throughout the year. Though the first of a new year is a great time to start being a number of things (healthier, more responsible, etc...) so is every other day of the year. The new year can be a catalyst or an excuse to wait "until then." People do it all the time, procrastinate action "until then." Maybe it's the revolving door of resolutions that has blurred the years together.
Last year I resolved to celebrate my birthday year, and have figured out a way to make that year equal 15 months. A celebration of my birthday year would include the whole year in which I turned 40 as well as the year counted from my that birthday to the next. Since my birthday is the last day in March, that gave me all of 2012, plus the first three months of this year. It's been a wonderful celebration of life so far, my best year yet!
Since my 5 year breast cancer survivorship coincided with my turning 40, I also resolved to celebrate just being alive. My gratefulness led me to take my running to a different kind of level and run a race for each of my 40 years, from one birthday to the next. I'm 75% of the way finished. I completed two 5k races on New Years Day, bringing my current total to 30. I'm registered for 7 races, have another couple picked out, and am looking for one more. Check out my tentative schedule and feel free to join me.
I also had one other resolution, more of a wish, a birthday wish. What do you get a girl who has more than enough wants and is fortunate enough to need for very little? Tickets to the Ellen show! That's right! It took  work, faith and patience, but all totally worth it. I can't wait to share my upcoming experience with you!
I'm not complaining about the blur. It's not the where-did-the-time-go blur. It's an everyday-is-a-celebration kind of blur. Each day really is special, enjoy it, and the next and the next and the next.

Wasatch Back 2012

This was my second Wasatch Back. For me, it was not a total success in the running department. But something I learned last year that was reaffirmed this year is Ragnar encompasses sooo much more than running. It really is difficult to put into words what the experience of Ragnar really is but I think my teammate and friend Caryn summed it up very nicely:

"Here is what I learned this weekend! Utah is an amazingly beautiful state, I love having a huge a**, killing people is fun, getting killed sucks, squirt guns are NOT just for kids, hills suck, back seat drivers know best and LOVE hills and food, everything is funny at 3am, Seattlites make the BEST mountain drivers, I can run under a 10 minute mile and enjoy the scenery, the calm one does curse and freak out, it's ok if you cannot read or write, underwear is not necessary but deodorant is, Van 2 isn't cooler than Van 1, nothing is more beautiful than a row of honey buckets, people who wake up at 3am to check on you should always be a part of your life, NY has the best cheerleaders, my legs are strong but my heart is stronger, white people burn and the big breasted chafe, sleep is overrated but if your gonna sleep with anyone make it sister-friend, #185 is my favorite number, I heart food, basketball coaches are f***in tough as hell, exchange #19 rocks, everyone should take minutes for later review, the shwag is great but the experience is life changing! Thanks ladies!"

Yes!!! Thank you Adrianna, Amie, Angie, Becky, Brenda, Caryn, Chris, Jen, Kim, Meja, Stephanie, Tanya, and Vicki!!! I am grateful to have had such an amazing experience with equally amazing women!

SetBACK

I am in the midst of a setback, due specifically to my physical back. Those of you who know me quite well also know that my lower back decides to seize up on me from time to time. This time I felt impending doom the morning of the Race for a Cure. I even texted Brenda to let her know how I felt and that I would just have to ignore it until after the race.
The causes of my condition are many: weak core; not doing core strengthening exercises for said core; stressful, busy times (but a good stressful), etc... In addition to the causes, I’m guessing that the catalyst for this particular injury was the barbecue Costco trip Meja and I went on the evening before the race.

Needless to say, I made it through the race, literally running and weaving through it. Thousands of people showed up, the vast majority of which walked. We had great team representation with a combination of people cheering both Lee and I on. I ran with Meja, Brenda, and Caryn the whole way. We crossed the finish line together, hand in hand, arms raised high.
And then as if on cue, my back went and muscles spasms started almost immediately after the finish Other than that and momentarily losing Porter, it was a fabulous morning.
I was feeling better enough by Monday morning that I wasn’t worried about going to work. That feeling lasted pretty much until Thursday morning, after I bent over to pick up a bag. Before I even had the bag in my hand I felt it, and continued feeling it the rest of the day. I hobbled my hunched up, bunched up body to school, determined to get through the day. Unfortunately it got bad enough that the large amounts of ibuprofen I was taking weren’t even making a dent, and I had to call in for an afternoon sub so I could go home. Sigh…..
The biggest bummer of this whole situation is that I had to miss run number six. I had run five 5Ks in 5 weeks and really wanted to believe I would be doing my sixth last Saturday. It was the Girls on the Run running program annual 5K. At 5:21 the morning of the race, I admitted defeat and texted Brenda to let her know that I would not be joining her for the race.
I am too busy to deal with a back that is preventing me from doing much of anything, yet it’s probably the way my body is telling me I’m too busy doing everything. That’s an exaggeration, I don’t do everything, but what I do keep myself busy doing I enjoy very much. Even the good stress gets you! Ah, to truly eat your cake and have it too!

Kellie "Like"

Sunday morning Clint says to me, "You're not being very Kellie-like," followed with, "What happened to go with the flow?"
Kellie "like." Hmmmm.  What exactly does that mean? It means something different now than it did 10 years ago. And though Clint was applying it to a couple of specific situations, it really applies to most aspects of my life. I don't believe I'm a different person per se, just that I think differently. Here's what I mean:
Kellie-like then meant a plethora of wrist watches and Franklin planners. Now it means NEVER wearing a watch, losing track of time and managing my calendar instead of my calendar managing me.
It meant believing that things happened for a reason and now believing that good and bad things happen and you make reason from it, as you choose, for better or worse.
It meant being more cynical and suspicious while now I can't help but give everyone the benefit of the doubt and believe good can be found in every person, often to the point of naivete.
It meant not wanting company because the house was a mess and now it means not wanting to miss out on company even if the house is a mess.
It meant getting by on being deceptively fit, and now it means being a runner.
It meant files, ledgers and balancing the checkbook, and now it means that Clint is bewildered as to why Directv won't let him order the fights because the bill hasn't been paid. (Thank goodness he opened the one that threatened to shut off our power!)
It meant being the go-to-girl for graduate school projects and organization to becoming the girl that was going to everyone else for due dates, instructions, and follow-through.
It meant getting from point A to point B without any variation and now it means we might stop for an overnight stay along the way to our destination. No hurries, no worries.
I'm sure there are things that have been more constant over time, only those of you have known me before, after and during truly know. I personally feel that I've evolved more than I've actually changed, that some tendies were suppressed while others became more enhanced.

Most importantly it means moving along a continuum from judgement to more compassion, from making assumptions to taking the time to know and from taking things personally to realizing that it's so much more than just about me.  

Which is why I went with the flow and gave in on getting a family dog, then topped it off with a Kellie-like thing and insisted we get two! More on our new families will be posted soon!

 

Two Weeks Notice!

Race for the Cure is TWO WEEKS from today! I'm very excited to be participating as a runner, team member and fundraiser! My team is in the Top 10 for fundraising! BUT we haven't reached our goal, YET! Please, please, please contribute or join our team ASAP!
If you register by MAY 6 then your bib and t-shirt are mailed to you! Woohoo! You can actually contribute money up until May 31 for it to count as Race for the Cure funds, but I will stop bugging people about it after the race.
Once again, here is the link to my team page: http://slc.info-komen.org/site/TR/RacefortheCure/SLC_SaltLakeCityAffiliate?team_id=204249&pg=team&fr_id=2479

You can donate to the team in general, or to any of the individual teammates listed. Porter and Parker each have a goal of $5.
The Race for the Cure will be my FIFTH race since turning forty, and it celebrates 5 years of being a survivor! We are also dedicating this race to my dear friend Lee as she starts her fight against cancer!

On a slightly different note, I did my third race today, Color Me Rad. It was a family and friends effort and way too much fun! Parker was able to volunteer through the Utah Down Syndrome Foundation, and Dad and Porter were his volunteer buddies. Fun was had by all!

I've Come A Long Way, Baby!

I just finished a 5 mile run in under an hour! That's a HUGE achievement for me. I started running a little over 2 years ago for my heart, then my health, and now my life. I began with the Couch to 5K program. I was mostly an interval runner, meaning I would run for 30-60 seconds then walk 60-90 seconds. The first non-stop distance I ran outside was .6 miles and it took me over 8 minutes. When I finally got up to running a full mile, I was able to do it in 15 minutes. People could walk faster than I ran! Luckily, a former classmate of mine that I ran into at our 20 year reunion is now a personal trainer. Steve gave me a personal work up to help me with my cardiovascular endurance. It was the guidance for the gradual and sustained improvement I needed.

Fast forward 2+ years. If I run harder than usual I can sustain an 11 minute mile for 2 miles.  Today, running at a normal pace, I averaged 11:52 for 5 miles. Actually, for the first 4 miles I averaged 11:38; mile 5 was a killer! This was my second 5 mile run of the year, and I'm thrilled with the results! I can't believe that I used to say that I would never be a runner, and I'm so glad that it isn't the truth.
This past weekend I finished the first of my 40 races to celebrate turning 40. My 5th scheduled race is going to be the Race for a Cure. My team name is 5 for 5, and that's because I'm running a 5K to celebrate my 5 years of being a survivor. I'm also running for my dear friend Lee, who is a member of the team too. She just recently started her fight with this disease. If you're reading this post, and you haven't already, please consider joining our team and/or donating to Komen SLC. The only reason I can do extraordinary things is because of the extraordinary support I have from the extraordinary people in my life! THANK YOU!

Running for My Life

• Idea: Run 40 races to celebrate 40 years of life.
• I have said, on more than one occasion, "I will never be a runner." 
• Heart issues after chemo lead me to consider running, the efficiency of it being a big factor.
• My BFF Brenda starts me on the Couch to 5K program.
• Ran my first 5K and 10K 8 months later.
• Participated in Ragnar 2011.
• Facebook status November 27, 2011: I'M A RUNNER!
• Signed up for the first of my next 40 races 
• Raising money for Race for the Cure this year to celebrate surviving cancer and chemo 5 years ago!

September 20, 2010 "Buddy Walk"

Parker’s Buddy Walk was yesterday. On Monday, I found out that this year there would also be a 5K, so Lexi and I made a last minute decision and signed up. We thought it would be good practice, and a good experience to learn from before we ran our 10K in October. It was not the experience we thought we’d have, but still fun. We did finish in the top 10 (out of a dozen or so people) and we didn’t run a full 5K (the route was about ½ a mile short). But I did run around a 12 minute mile, which surprised me. I knew tand hat I wanted to step it up for the race, but wasn’t quite sure how to keep myself running faster than my normal very slow rate (15 minute mile), and not too fast (interval running) as to burn out. The answer was Cadence, an app for my iTouch. I am not a techie person, but this app is amazing. It took all of the music on my iTouch and arranged it in order by bpm (beats per minute). So I just set it at the bpm I thought would work, and off I went, jogging to the cadence of songs that kept me going and going and going. We finished the race, Lexi before me, and were happy with our efforts. We’re looking forward to our next race!The walk was fun, as always. Seeing so many cute kids, families having fun, and all of the support was great. Parker especially liked the inflatable slide and obstacle course. We could only get him away from those when he saw the train “zoom” by. It was great to see the performance of Rachel Coleman from Signing Time. Parker was following along in his own way, throwing up his arms, waving his hands, and singing. The walk was short and something Parker wasn’t too interested in, but we made him do it anyway. He survived, but was pretty much done after that. It was a beautiful but hot day, he had been going non-stop for a few hours, and after we ate, he was a crabby and stubborn little guy. Clint took the boys home and Lexi and I stayed for the raffle. Parker did get his name drawn and we got a big bowl full of movie treats. All in all it was a great day. Next year, we’re going to organize a team and do some major fundraising to celebrate Parker turning five. Stay tuned!