Parenting is hard.

Parenting is hard. I think it's even hard for parents of "typical" kids, though I wouldn't exactly know. I know we're all exhausted, that's a given, right? Yet because of the idiosyncrasies of my children and the unique challenges they face, it's difficult to give up their care, even to the most well intentioned village, if only for an evening away. We're ever vigilant, always on guard, and yes, definitely over protective.

I also imagine that all parents worry, mine still do and I'm grown with children of my own! But maybe parents of typical kids have a little less to worry about. I know there are commonalities among what parents worry about, I just feel like parents of kids with disabilities have a greater number of those worries at any one time. I'd start a list, but I'd like to maintain some semblance of denial.

I can imagine that raising kids is like a roller coaster ride for most parents. There are enough highs and lows to go around, though I think that parents of "special" kids might be experience higher highs and lower lows. Milestones are not taken for granted or expected, instead they are hoped for and celebrated. We flinch when parents joke about the "agony" of having a mobile toddler to chase around. When our kids can stack 3 blocks we jump up and down, much like a parent might do when their child learns to ride a bike. And a milestone as simple as shoe tying may be something we never witness. I'm actually still waiting for that one, and my boys are 13 and 7. Yes, in the grand scheme of things, not such a big deal, but an example of the little things we don't get to take for granted.

The lows on our roller coaster are followed by loop-d-loops, aka the grief cycle. We grieve for what our kids are not or will not be able to do. We grieve for the future we imagined, then turn to the task of creating a new one. We learn quickly that there really are no guarantees, for reals, no joke, seriously. And though coming to terms with that makes life "easier," we're still sometimes resentful about it.

I'm not sure that I'm doing a good job of articulating what it is that I'm trying to say. The emotions I'm experiencing at this moment come and go, in various degrees and for various reasons. Tonight it's because I, along with a few dozen parents, sat through a 3 hour meeting with the special education directors and superintendent of our school district. The purpose of the meeting was to address parent concerns regarding reorganization of special education services due to budget cuts. 

What this boils down to for me, right now, is that I am faced with making a decision of where Parker will spend first grade. Will he continue in his cluster class? Or will he go to his neighborhood school? We also had to make this decision last year. The question isn't as simple as it may seem, there are several factors to consider. I know it's just first grade, but it might as well be college, that's how the weight of it feels to me. I'm afraid to choose because I don't want to make the wrong choice, if that makes any sense. And it's only in hindsight that I will know if it was the right choice, or more accurately, the better choice. 

So yes, to wrap things up before my venting turns into droning, I believe that my experience might not be too different from what it is now if I was parenting typical kids. And though most parents of typical kids probably don't have over a dozen doctors, therapists, clinics, etc... listed in their contacts, I do know one thing we definitely have in common, love for our children.   

My "Instant Happy" Happiness Tool

Happiness abounds, or does it? For me the answer would be yes! I prefer to live happy, and it is a preference I work on, though not as much as I used to. I've always been optimistic, a resilient sort who views the glass half full. Just as I went from running to becoming a runner, I nurtured my optimism and grew into a full blown optimist. The quiz I took even says so! (LearnedOptimism by Martin E. P. Seligman, PhD)

There have been events, situations and people along the way that have shaped my positive perspective. Most have come in the form of challenges namely my sons and their disabilities as well as my own battle with breast cancer. Others have come in the form of inspiration such as Ellen Degeneres, TeamHoyt and YouTube sensations like Kid President and Arthur, the paratrooper turned yogi .

I also use what I like to call inspirational quotes, aka words of wisdom. Just a few of the right words can give an attitude adjustment in just a few seconds. Just a few of the right words can set the tone in a classroom, opening young minds to endless possibilities. Just a few of the right words can give perspective on life or compassion for the life of another. Just a few of the right words can bolster strength and fortitude in order to accomplish the seemingly impossible.

I would like to share some words of wisdom that summarize how I evolved from being optimistic into being an optimist. In her book Instant Happy, Karen Salmanshon says, “Much of the pain in life comes from having a life plan that you've fallen in love with, but that doesn't work out. Having to find a new life plan hurts. The trick is not to become attached to any particular life plan and to remember that there is always a better, EVEN-HAPPIER life plan out there somewhere.”

It wasn't in the plan to have two children with disabilities, but it happened. It wasn't in the plan to have breast cancer, but it happened. Over the course of a decade, I learned that I cannot count on any plan, best laid, well-intentioned, or fool-proof. What I can count on is my ability to patiently and lovingly embrace any plan as it unfolds in front of me. 

To illustrate, two years ago I put in for a transfer which I would call blind. I was requesting to leave one school, and with that request I had to be okay with ending up wherever they found a spot for me. I didn’t just throw caution to the wind, I threw my hat in the ring, I signed on the dotted line, I was all in. I was a little taken aback at colleagues who were afraid for me. Why be afraid? The new prospective job did not scare a little ol' optimist like me because I knew I was taking me to go do it!

Blurry

I'm not referring to what extreme nearsightedness has done to my eyesight. I'm also not talking about the snowy blizzard that has decreased visibility and increased driving time.I'm commenting on the line dividing 2012 from 2013, a line that appears blurry. The demarcation of time between "then" and "now" has come and gone and little has changed. It's difficult to explain, probably because I don't quite understand it myself.
I don't believe the blur comes from a lack of resolutions. It's not that I'm not big on resolutions, I just set them throughout the year. Though the first of a new year is a great time to start being a number of things (healthier, more responsible, etc...) so is every other day of the year. The new year can be a catalyst or an excuse to wait "until then." People do it all the time, procrastinate action "until then." Maybe it's the revolving door of resolutions that has blurred the years together.
Last year I resolved to celebrate my birthday year, and have figured out a way to make that year equal 15 months. A celebration of my birthday year would include the whole year in which I turned 40 as well as the year counted from my that birthday to the next. Since my birthday is the last day in March, that gave me all of 2012, plus the first three months of this year. It's been a wonderful celebration of life so far, my best year yet!
Since my 5 year breast cancer survivorship coincided with my turning 40, I also resolved to celebrate just being alive. My gratefulness led me to take my running to a different kind of level and run a race for each of my 40 years, from one birthday to the next. I'm 75% of the way finished. I completed two 5k races on New Years Day, bringing my current total to 30. I'm registered for 7 races, have another couple picked out, and am looking for one more. Check out my tentative schedule and feel free to join me.
I also had one other resolution, more of a wish, a birthday wish. What do you get a girl who has more than enough wants and is fortunate enough to need for very little? Tickets to the Ellen show! That's right! It took  work, faith and patience, but all totally worth it. I can't wait to share my upcoming experience with you!
I'm not complaining about the blur. It's not the where-did-the-time-go blur. It's an everyday-is-a-celebration kind of blur. Each day really is special, enjoy it, and the next and the next and the next.

Whoosh...

That’s the sound of summer, flying by my pleading eyes, arms madly waving, and shouts of “Wait! Slow down! I love you!” I love you? Whoa, summer isn’t even my favorite season! But, as I’m sure you would agree, it’s a seductive one. Summer is coy, luring you in after a wet and rainy Spring. Then it moves into the more serious business of drugging you with infusions of Vitamin D. It wraps you in warmth and laziness then renders you delirious with record high temps. 

Chasing the sun around the yard.

I am more than halfway through summer. Sadly, summer has a beginning and end, even more delineated for those of us who teach. I’ve always had fun summers (minus one: chemo treatments), but this one has been especially enjoyable. I can’t put my finger on it, probably because I’d need more than the fingers I have on two hands to pinpoint all that has contributed to the season so far.

Luckily, it’s not over yet. There’s still about four weeks left. A lot can happen in four weeks, as a lot did happen in six. And if I play it right, summer doesn’t have to end when work begins. Last year I enjoyed a little summer in October, boating in Lake Powell. And if summer decides to exit early, or if going back to work gets in the way, I’ll just fall in love with Fall. 

Pinterest

Catalyst or crusher of productivity? Creative inspiration or intimidation?  Time-saving or a time-suck?Feelings of success or Economical and cheap ideas or an excessive and capitalistic influence?

I've been pinning for a few months now, and other than the quotes I use with my students, I have only completed 2 pinned projects. The first project were the bookmarks I made my AVID students for Valentines Day. The second project I did just today. It was a combo project, with ideas from more than one source. The Pinterest inspiration is on the right. I paired that with a system I saw in use at the US Post Office, and voila, an calendar command center!


That's it! That's the entirety of my Pinterest glory. 800 pins and this is what I have to show for it. I haven't even tried making any of the Yummy! recipes pinned on that board. The smart ideas on the Too School for Cool board, have yet to make it to school. As for Bookilicious, should have spent that time actually reading books!

Time, ugh, I don't want to even think of the time I "wasted" on Pinterest. At this point in time, for me anyway, Pinterest has been a productivity crusher and time-suck more than anything. A smallish percentage of time "wasted" on Pinterest has been a welcome diversion, or a space filler, but mostly just a true waste of time. Maybe if I'd been cooking those meals, or applying the workouts, or cleverly decorating for the holidays.... Sigh.... nope, nope and nope.


I could let all of the "greatness" that I see on Pinterest make me feel less than great for not being able to achieve it all. But I won't. I could blog about how it may be doing us more harm than good, creating desires that may create unhappiness. But I won't. There are advantages and downfalls in just about everything we encounter in life, it's that awareness that helps us maintain balance. So, I will continue "wasting" time on Pinterest and gain a few tips here and there to enhance my already great life!

  

I've Come A Long Way, Baby!

I just finished a 5 mile run in under an hour! That's a HUGE achievement for me. I started running a little over 2 years ago for my heart, then my health, and now my life. I began with the Couch to 5K program. I was mostly an interval runner, meaning I would run for 30-60 seconds then walk 60-90 seconds. The first non-stop distance I ran outside was .6 miles and it took me over 8 minutes. When I finally got up to running a full mile, I was able to do it in 15 minutes. People could walk faster than I ran! Luckily, a former classmate of mine that I ran into at our 20 year reunion is now a personal trainer. Steve gave me a personal work up to help me with my cardiovascular endurance. It was the guidance for the gradual and sustained improvement I needed.

Fast forward 2+ years. If I run harder than usual I can sustain an 11 minute mile for 2 miles.  Today, running at a normal pace, I averaged 11:52 for 5 miles. Actually, for the first 4 miles I averaged 11:38; mile 5 was a killer! This was my second 5 mile run of the year, and I'm thrilled with the results! I can't believe that I used to say that I would never be a runner, and I'm so glad that it isn't the truth.
This past weekend I finished the first of my 40 races to celebrate turning 40. My 5th scheduled race is going to be the Race for a Cure. My team name is 5 for 5, and that's because I'm running a 5K to celebrate my 5 years of being a survivor. I'm also running for my dear friend Lee, who is a member of the team too. She just recently started her fight with this disease. If you're reading this post, and you haven't already, please consider joining our team and/or donating to Komen SLC. The only reason I can do extraordinary things is because of the extraordinary support I have from the extraordinary people in my life! THANK YOU!

Learn Something New Everyday!

I actually don't see how you couldn't do this. Instead of making it a point to learn something new everyday, I think you'd have to make a point of stopping yourself from learning something new. I'm not only considering academics or book learning, but also career knowledge (which for me happens to be a lot of academics and book learning), social, political and pop culture, personal life lessons, intended and unintended, and the list could go on and on.
Here are three new things I learned yesterday:

At work, with the help of a colleague, I learned more about My Access. I learned how to import students, set up groups and assign a prompt. The day before, with the help of another colleague, I learned how to use the student results to know what types of lessons/teaching I should focus on. End result: I will learn more about what my students know and also learn what to do to help them learn more! Win win!

At a social function with friends, I learned that kids only have to be "shielded" from seeing alcohol depending on the type of liquor license you have. I'm surprised that parents aren't given some sort of partition to place around the alcoholic beverages on their table to keep their children "unaware." Speaking of children and alcohol, here's a previous post about Porter playing "bar." I already knew that Utah's liquor laws were a little quirky, but I learned last night that they are actually totally absurd. For example, you can't "travel" with your beverage, meaning that if you are at one table and move to another with your drink, then set it down, you've broken the law. And that it takes two people to order a pitcher of beer, but one person can order an entire bottle of wine AND a shot of tequila and be served both at the same time because that is considered only two drinks.

My awesome friend Vickie also tried to teach us the proper way to take a great picture, as in pose for a picture. Something like sit up straight, one shoulder down, chin towards that shoulder, head tilted to opposite shoulder, chest out, and something about creating an S? Still learning.

One last thing I learned from Instagram is that KPop is all the rage, or will be all the rage. Basically it's VERY popular Korean pop music by Korean girl and boy bands. Feel free to check it out!

PHEW! I wonder what new things I'll learn today? Tomorrow? Next week? Next year?

Another "R" Word

Here's another "R" word I don't particularly care to hear, RETARDED. Unfortunately it's a word I hear daily and often multiple times in a day. Mind you, I do work with teenagers, but they are not the only offenders.
This isn't a word I came to dislike as a result of having Parker, and I don't even doubt that I have also used this word many times in the past.
Pre-Parker, I would gently admonish my students by telling them that "retarded" people, people who could not help being born with a mental disability or people who were impacted through an accident, don't really have much of a choice about their mental abilities. What they really meant was "stupid" or "dumb." I know, I know, not much better and still name calling, but stupid can be attributed to any person or group while retarded conjures up images of a specific group of people who have intellectual and physical disabilities.
Post-Parker, I still gently admonish and then throw in that my own son has an intellectual disability and that I personally take offense to the use of that word. Most often I get a wide-eyed look of shock followed by an apology which often times included something like, "Well, I didn't mean him."
That's why I love this little PSA from Lauren Potter who plays Becky on GLEE. How many other words do people use with the caveat of "I didn't mean 'him,' or 'her,' or 'them.'" There have been occasions during my life in which people have disparaged Asians during their conversations with me. When I point this out, they say, "I didn't mean you." Is that because I'm only half? Or because they just see me as American? Then who did they mean? My mother?
Name calling with words that are used as labels for specific groups of people is hurtful, insensitive, and off-putting. I would include "gay" in this category as well as "girl." Using "gay" as an interchangeable adjective for "stupid" is, well, stupid. They are not interchangeable and insinuate that being gay is a bad thing. I also object to the insinuation that being a girl is a bad thing with comments such as, "Don't scream like a girl," "You're acting like a girl," "You throw like a girl."
So there you have it, my Sunday Soapbox.

Playoff Osmosis

I'm a sports fan by osmosis. It's part of my life because it's a part of Clint's and Porter's life, oh, and my BFF too. It's not that I don't enjoy sports, its that I don't prefer them. I do enjoy them, live. We've been to four NFL games to watch the Patriots play. Every game was more than fun to watch and every trip was a blast. I've enjoyed the numerous Jazz games I've been to and the occasional baseball game. I love U games, especially when tailgating is involved. I even like school games and matches. I guess I'm more a fan of the goings on around the actual game of whatever sport it might be, the social aspect. I'm sure I talk way too much during the event to be consider a true sports enthusiast.
I've been slightly more interested in this NFL playoff season for various reasons. One, the Patriots are doing well. That's always a good thing at our house. Porter was surprised that Clint had people over to the house for the game against Denver on Saturday. Clint feigned innocence as Porter explained that it would be embarrassing if Clint said bad words like, "Stupid and beeeeep, beeeeep." Porter actually said beep, not the swear words the beeps were intending to mask. It is a it of a worry, but luckily it was a total blow out in the Patriots favor, so we were saved from apologies.
The Saints lost to the Niners, as I'm sure everyone else already knows. I was torn as to who I wanted to win. Alex Smith, the quarterback for the Niners, played at Utah but Ellen likes the Saints. When Porter found out the reason for my confusion he said, "Really mom? Really?" Yes, really. I was once a Dolphins fan because I like dolphins, so there. I did know that I wanted the Ravens to win their game, though that would mean they would be playing the Patriots next week. Haloti Ngata is a former student of mine. In eighth grade he went by Harold. I remember him as a big, friendly kid with great manners.
Sports, whether it be the NBA, NFL, ESPN, NCAA, will always be a part of my life because that's what families do, share a life! (and Clint thinks I'm the one associated with annoying acronyms, ha!)
P.S. Tim Tebow is an extraordinary person. Check him out! The Tim Tebow Foundation

Celebrate!

Some people celebrate their birthday on their birthday, or a bit before, maybe even a little after. Another popular option is having a birthday week. There may even be a few that extend that to a month, or have "half" birthdays, which are especially popular with children who have summer birthdays. I've decided that I will be celebrating the entire year of my 40th birthday.
Technically, my 40th year of life began when I turned 39. And it might be more exact to celebrate a year starting from the time I actually have my 40th birthday. But since I was born in 1972, which was forty years ago, then I'm going to celebrate all of 2012, and then some. Though it is a "Me Party," it wouldn't really be a celebration without wonderful people to share it with! I hope you'll follow me along on my mid-life journey and all the celebrations of this extra special year. Cheers!

July 22, 2009 "Jodi Picoult Speaks for Me"

“People ask all the time how I’m doing, but the truth is, they don’t really want to know….. They smile at me, because they want to be polite or politically correct, but the whole time they are thinking, Thank God. Thank God it was her, instead of me.”

That’s a line from Jodi Picoult’s latest novel, Handle With Care. I feel like it’s an apt description of my life. In fact, I have been told by many that I must have been “given” children with disabilities because I am strong enough to “handle” them. So in a roundabout way, I guess they’re giving me a compliment, but mostly what I hear is, “Thank God it was her, instead of me.”

“… most people who offer their help do it to make themselves feel better, not us. To be honest, I don’t blame them. It’s superstition: if you give assistance to the family in need… if you throw salt over your shoulder… if you don’t step on the cracks, then maybe you’ll be immune. Maybe you’ll be able to convince yourself that this could never happen to you.”
I remember flipping through magazines and seeing advertisements and articles about breast cancer. I honestly struggled with whether I should read them or not. I almost felt like reading them would be like reverse psychology, that it would keep cancer away from me. Needless to say, I didn’t read them and I ended up with cancer.

“Don’t get me wrong. I am not complaining. Other people look at me and think:That poor woman; she has a child with a disability. But all I see when I look at you is…” my child, a beautiful boy that was wanted beyond measure and created with so much love, a piece of me forever.

“God doesn’t give people burdens they can’t handle…” A friend and former co-worker told me that her religion believes in a pre-existence at which time you essentially sign up for your earthly endeavors. She said I must have signed up for a lot. I guess I was a bit of an overachiever even then.

“I’ve always believed that He saves truly special babies for parents He trusts…” Really? Have you seen some of the parents that these “special” babies have been born to? Many are struggling themselves, for various reasons, and are unable to provide the “extras” that these “special” babies need. I don’t buy it. In fact “Not everything has to have a point…”
I used to believe that things happened for a reason, not anymore. I just found it too hard to find reasons why some people died in 9/11 and others didn’t, why young children are molested or raped, why parents die prematurely and leave families behind, why bad things happen to good people. Now I just believe things happen and then reason comes out of the event as well as the way you chose to deal with it. If I believed that God did things to people instead of helping people through things, then I would no longer be a believer.

June 26, 2009 "Death"

Porter’s question: “Mom, are you going to die?” My reply: “Someday.” After the cancer diagnosis, I had a huge fear of that question being asked and my having to answer it. I didn’t want to answer that question, but knew that I would have to at some point. And how would I answer it? As I’ve done in the past where I just brush it off and say that’s not something we need to worry about for a long time? Nope, no longer an option. That wouldn’t really be fair or prepare him for the inevitable, whenever my death were to happen. I didn’t want to lie to him, but I also didn’t want to have a discussion about my mortality when I was doing all I could to save it.

There has been a lot of death in the news lately. Two little boys here in the state recently died from injuries they sustained while riding a motorcycle and atv. Another was accidently buried alive by his own father. Heartbreaking, three young lives cut way to short, just like that. And unfortunately, summer is the season of children being accidently left in hot cars or being run over in their own driveways. Unfortunately, these accidents are often caused by family members, lives that will be changed forever.

Then the recent deaths of two celebrities:  Michael Jackson and Farrah Fawcett, at 50 and 62 respectively. I’m an obituary reader, though I did take a break during chemo. I will sometimes see people in their 40s and 50s who are listed as having died from “natural causes.” Really? How do you naturally die in your 40s or 50s when according to the CDC, life expectancy is 78? Gandhi said, “It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver.” This quote makes me think of Larry H. Miller who died from complications of diabetes at the age of 64. Wealth isn’t much when you don’t have your health to enjoy it with. Maybe that is what the public finds so shocking in regards to celebrity deaths, since they are people who are believed to have access to all the finer things in life, including the best medical care. So if they’re not making it with the resources available to them, what is that saying for our chances?

So, though I’d like to, I don’t brush Porter off when he wants to talk about death. It’s usually a short conversation and sometimes a confusing one considering all the religious influences of our family (Mormon, Jehovah’s Witness, Protestant, and his participation in a Catholic Boy Scout troop). I do what I can to answer what he asks, without dwelling or elaborting, at least at this point. Maybe when he gets a little older the discussion can grow, but at least we’re having it.

There is a song on my Good Vibes CD by Oingo Boingo called We Close Our Eyes. My favorite part says:

I looked death in the face last night I saw him in a mirror, and he simply smiled. He told me not to worry, he told me just to take my time.

As far as time, I’ll take all that I can get, and all that’s guaranteed to me at this moment, is this moment. I hope to have a lifetime of moments, and to be able to celebrate each moment along the way, and be thankful for the moments that have passed.

I’d like to share the story of Eliot and how his parents enjoyed every moment of his life. Here’s to you and those you love, be sure to enjoy life and celebrate it all the while!

June 21, 2009 "Father's Day"

The school year was finally over and I was ready for a break. I told Porter, “Today is my day.” It happened to be a Friday, our designated family day. “Why?” “Because I need a break, so whatever I say today goes.” “That’s not fair.” “Really, because I’m pretty sure every other day is your day.” “You have Mother’s Day.” “So I only get one day a year? I think that your dad and I should get at least one day each week.” Needless to say, when you have kids, it just doesn’t work that way.

Today is the one day of the year designated for fathers. Luckily for me, I know a lot of wonderful dads. My dad is one of those wonderful guys that I speak of. My attitude of optimism was and still is largely influenced by him. My dad would always say, “Hope for the best.” He would also not worry about negative things that MIGHT happen in the future, and not dwell on mistakes/failures that did. He is more of a, it happened, let’s deal with it and move on kind of thinker. I’ve also not heard my dad utter an unkind word about anyone. He doesn’t focus on the shortcomings of others. He doesn’t judge by race, social status, or money. He is a kind man and the best example of what it means to love unconditionally.

Another wonderful father is the one I married. Clint’s baptism into fatherhood was traumatic, but he put his emotions on hold to allow me to deal with mine. He stepped up and took care of both Porter and I, and assisted me in navigating this new and unexpected life we had fallen into. I relied on Clint heavily right after Porter was born, and it wasn’t until much later that I learned what he had witnessed on the morning of Porter’s birth. And after Parker’s birth, Clint did all he could to soften the blow that would come with finding out that we did indeed have a child with Down Syndrome. He was patient with me and didn’t judge me as I was dealing with an array of emotions, all the while embracing us all with his unconditional love.

We brought Parker home from his extended hospital stay on the day that The Children’s Miracle Network was having their telethon. I switched the TV on in the middle of the night during a midnight feeding. There was a spotlight on a boy, around 10 years old, he had Down Syndrome and was also a leukemia survivor. When they asked him what he wanted to be when he grew up his reply was, “I want to be a good man.” I’ll never forget that and I will be forever grateful for the good men in my life.

Get your kleenex ready! I’d love to share some of my favorite father son stories with you. I’m sure many of you are familiar with Team Hoyt. If not, they are a father son racing team and their story is worth checking out. Another inspirational story is about Patrick Henry Hughes and his father. Patrick’s father took a night job so he could participate in college classes and marching band. Cheers to fathers who believe in the unlimited potential of their children!

June 16, 2009 "Mommy Wars"

I’ve just started the part of the year in which I am a stay at home mom. The other three quarters of the year I’m a working mom. Since I do both, I feel that it’s pretty safe for me to comment on the Mommy Wars. For those of you who may not already know, the war that I speak of is between stay-at-home moms and working moms. Sounds silly doesn’t it? Why aren’t moms supporting one another? Moms are moms, 24/7, whether they stay at home or work. But we’ve somehow twisted that reality into an us against them mentality.

Just the other night I was involved in a conversation with a group of women, the topic was infidelity. Unfortunately, one of the women is currently having marriage difficulties in part because of her husband’s “cheating.” The consensus of the group was that none of them would put up with that from their husband. So of course the question of “Why doesn’t she just leave?” comes up to which the reply was, “Well, she’s been a stay-at-home mom for the past umpteen years, and what would she do?” Then for my benefit, I was told that that’s probably not something I would really get since I work, so I guess working moms as having an easier out. Maybe so, maybe not.

I have friends that stay at home, I have friends that work. I have friends that have stayed home for a few years until their children reached school age, and I have friends that are still at home with all school aged children. Once again, I’d like to say that moms are moms 24/7. As a teacher, I have had students with stay at home moms that have done great, others that haven’t. The same goes for students with moms that work. Some women work because they want to, some because it’s a financial necessity, and for anyone else to judge whether that desire or that necessity is valid really isn’t fair.

One of the least favorite things I hear from stay-at-home moms is that their children are their priority. I try not to take that as them saying that working moms’ children are not their priority. Of course my children are my priority. I take them to appointments, stay home with them when they’re sick, go on school fieldtrips, cook them dinner, read with them, take them to afterschool activities, etc… And what do I do with them when I’m home in the summer? I take them to appointments, stay home with them when they’re sick, provide them with a tutor, cook them dinner, read with them, take them to activities, etc… Not much different, at least in my view.

I’m also annoyed by one other topic that some stay-at-home moms bring up, and that’s the “chore” of being home, which literally includes the chores or duties that consume a mother’s day. I often hear, “Well, at least you get to do something different during the day.” Yeah, and then I get to come home and do all the other things, like the cooking, cleaning, laundry, bills, yardwork, etc.. that go along with being a parent and having a family. Working full time in no way gets you out of the “chores” of running a household. Again, moms are moms TWENTY-FOUR SEVEN.

From my experience, I believe that it truly does take a village to raise a child. And thank goodness that my village includes all kinds of mothers and parents (there are stay-at-home and working dads too!). I just wish we could support each other in motherhood, and in all the unique ways that it’s represented. In fact, I bet we have much more in common than we don’t, starting with our biggest priority, our children!

Check out this fun little song celebrating motherhood.

June 9, 2009 Class of ?

Tomorrow marks the end of yet another school year, my 14^th to be exact. Actually, more like my 32^nd if I start with Kindergarten. So off go another group of students, to enjoy summer break, then to learn more in high school and then continuing on to their adult futures, whatever that happens to be. What dreams will they realize, what challenges will they overcome, what contributions will they make? If I’m lucky, I’ll hear from some of them from time to time, and hopefully it won’t be bad news.

Unfortunately the first follow up I had with a former student was at a funeral, his. I recognized his picture in the obituary section of the paper, he had committed suicide. Shocking, unbelievable, devastating. What had happened in the past 5 or 6 years? What could have driven him to end his life at such a young age? I was heartbroken.

The students I had my first year are turning 27. I’m only 10 years older than they are, which doesn’t seem as big of a difference now as it did then. I taught these children when they were going through puberty, and now they’re full grown adults. I’ve had some interesting student encounters over the years.
During one of our Girls’ Night Out evenings we (many of us in the group were teachers or former teachers of the same school) ran into a group of former students at the piano bar downtown. I have to admit it was a little awkward, but it was also great to see them.
While teaching preschool at an elementary a few years ago, a young man asked me if I had been a teacher at any other schools. He ended up being a former student of mine who was at the elementary picking up his daughter who was in kindergarten!
Not too long ago I had a very nice lunch with a former student who just recently graduated and was starting his career in real estate. I had kept up on his life through his mother who I ran into from time to time when she substituted at school.
Last year, there were 5 student teachers at our school. One seemed so familiar, and I expressed that to her. She revealed to me that I was her teacher in 8^th grade. She was now all grown up and pursuing a career as a teacher.
There have also been a few substitute teachers that were my students, as well as a paraprofessional that currently works at my school. Some I just hear about, from other teachers, students, parents, etc…

So off go another group of students, and I’m hoping they realize how important they are and wishing them the best life has to offer them.

Schools out for summer!

June 6, 2009 "Technology"

I am so proud of myself! I figured out how to get pictures off of my phone and save them to my computer! I did this with the intention of posting Parker’s picture from his last cardiology appointment on the previous post, which I did. Some of you already saw the pic, which was very small in size. After saving it I couldn’t figure out how to adjust the size without distorting it. So today, I went back into my camera and did some cropping from there, then sent the new version to my account, which I then copied to my computer, and voila!
I’d like to be a lot better with technology, and I’m learning, slowly. I seem to learn on a need to know basis, which is probably not unlike most other people who use computers. I just find it difficult to wrap my head around how computers work! Even my love of learning hasn’t helped me in overcoming this deficit.

Porter’s a quick learner, of all kinds of technology (computer, tv, DS, XBOX, cell phone, etc…). Kids in general seem to pick up on that sort of thing rather quickly. I’m glad Porter is good with a computer and know that before too long, he’s going to outpace me in what I know on the computer. In some cases that has already happened. I didn’t even know that my phone could download games, and even if I did, I’m not sure how easily I could have figured it out. Porter on the other hand, found it rather simple to download (or is it upload?) 6 games. Let me tell you what they were (yes, were, because with help from my wireless provider I removed them): NBA Basketball, NFL Football, NASCAR, Bass Fishing, SUDOKO and Are You Smarter Then a 5th Grader? Porter informed me that he picked the last 2 for me. How considerate he was to include games for me on my phone!

This lead to one of those conversations that you don’t know you need to have until you need to, as opposed to having a conversation you know you need to have before you need to, such as not playing in the street or the sex talk. We had to explain to Porter that those games cost money and he didn’t have permission from us to download them. We also had to make sure he understood that he shouldn’t be on any phone without our supervision (which is probably a conversation that falls into the second category more than the first.)
Other conversations we didn’t know we needed to have: Don’t set passwords on the DIRECTV; Don’t erase my DVR shows and fill the queue full of yours; You cannot constantly change the setting on the computer (the destop picture is currentlyof the band KISS); Don’t set up a network on your hotmail account and add total strangers to it (okay, that might be a second category conversation); The computer at school is for you to do your work on, you are not allowed to change the settings or play solitaire (thank goodness it doesn’t have internet access); … and many others.
But with the bad comes the good, right? There have been many times when we’ve needed his help with the tv, computer, phone, etc… and he’s been able to help us.  Technology is and will continue to be a great tool for him. Even so, I’m glad that he would prefer to play outside than to be on the computer all day. And though I rarely understand technology and am sometimes frustrated by it, I am very grateful for it.

I’m keeping the technology learning curve going by posting this link: PS22 CHORUS  ENJOY!