December 5, 2009 "Goodnight Moon"

“In the great green room

There was a telephone

And a red balloon

And a picture of –

The cow jumping over the moon.”

Those words are from the beloved children’s book Goodnight Moon by Margaret Wise Brown. Throughout history and across cultures the moon has been an object of fascination and curiosity. This impressive object has also been viewed by some with a little trepidation and fear.  I remember as a child when my dad would remark whenever he saw a “trolling” moon. It was a crescent moon with a single star trailing behind. The star was a bobber, the moon a fisherman. The moon is at the center of one of Korea’s biggest holidays. My mom would celebrate the large harvest moon of fall with food and friends. Unfortunately for us, the moon has become an object that creates a fair amount of angst at our house.

It has been a challenging month and half or so. It has been awhile since I last wrote, I didn’t want to sound hopeless while in the midst of the turmoil. It seems that October, and now going into November, has been our most difficult month year after year. Things are now returning to normal, namely Porter has slept in his bed, all night, since last Saturday evening. Previous to that, it was a good 3 weeks of him sleeping in the basement on a couch. When he wasn’t sleeping he was wandering around the house, or watching tv, or eating, or drinking…

How did we get to that point? Good question. I know specifically that this time, we gave up. Before that 3 weeks of Porter sleeping downstairs, he was trying to sleep anywhere but his room. We’d wake up and he’d be on the floor beside our bed, or in the recliner, or even on the floor in the bathroom. Often, he would end up in these places after waking up in the middle of the night, then waking us up in the middle of the night, and “fighting” us about going back to his bed. As many of you know, parenting is exhausting enough, so we gave in. “Sleep where you want,” we’d say, mostly so that we could get a decent night of rest ourselves.

But sound sleeping isn’t so easy when you’re worried about your child’s physical and mental well being. Because prior to all of the above, going back to when we moved into this house over 3 years ago, Porter began to develop an obsession with the moon. He has anxiety about it and exhibits obsessive and compulsive behaviors because of it. A typical day for Porter would be mentioning and talking about the moon from the moment he woke up until bedtime and all in between. Before dusk he would check out the windows, numerous times, to see if he could spot the moon in the sky. Then while in bed, he would get up and look out his blinds, easily more than a dozen times.

This is a tough situation. There are no easy answers, at least not thus far. We have consulted with psychiatrists (he’s a little young to go that route and we really don’t want him on meds), and he’s met with a naturopathic pediatrician (who has pointed us in to a possible, yet difficult to treat, disorder). Then of course there’s the wondering how much of it is within the realm of developmentally normal, and how much can be attributed to his disability. And finally, questioning our parenting over the years, going back and considering what we did or didn’t do to encourage his challenging bedtime behaviors, though the challenging behaviors are definitely not just limited to bedtime.

There’s so much more I could say, so much to sort out, and though it’s been complicated, even tough at times, life continues to also be wonderful. I’ve always said that for all the ways my boys are challenging, they are easy in so many others. I’m thankful for that and for them.