“People ask all the time how I’m doing, but the truth is, they don’t really want to know….. They smile at me, because they want to be polite or politically correct, but the whole time they are thinking, Thank God. Thank God it was her, instead of me.”
That’s a line from Jodi Picoult’s latest novel, Handle With Care. I feel like it’s an apt description of my life. In fact, I have been told by many that I must have been “given” children with disabilities because I am strong enough to “handle” them. So in a roundabout way, I guess they’re giving me a compliment, but mostly what I hear is, “Thank God it was her, instead of me.”
“… most people who offer their help do it to make themselves feel better, not us. To be honest, I don’t blame them. It’s superstition: if you give assistance to the family in need… if you throw salt over your shoulder… if you don’t step on the cracks, then maybe you’ll be immune. Maybe you’ll be able to convince yourself that this could never happen to you.”
I remember flipping through magazines and seeing advertisements and articles about breast cancer. I honestly struggled with whether I should read them or not. I almost felt like reading them would be like reverse psychology, that it would keep cancer away from me. Needless to say, I didn’t read them and I ended up with cancer.
I remember flipping through magazines and seeing advertisements and articles about breast cancer. I honestly struggled with whether I should read them or not. I almost felt like reading them would be like reverse psychology, that it would keep cancer away from me. Needless to say, I didn’t read them and I ended up with cancer.
“Don’t get me wrong. I am not complaining. Other people look at me and think:That poor woman; she has a child with a disability. But all I see when I look at you is…” my child, a beautiful boy that was wanted beyond measure and created with so much love, a piece of me forever.
“God doesn’t give people burdens they can’t handle…” A friend and former co-worker told me that her religion believes in a pre-existence at which time you essentially sign up for your earthly endeavors. She said I must have signed up for a lot. I guess I was a bit of an overachiever even then.
“I’ve always believed that He saves truly special babies for parents He trusts…” Really? Have you seen some of the parents that these “special” babies have been born to? Many are struggling themselves, for various reasons, and are unable to provide the “extras” that these “special” babies need. I don’t buy it. In fact “Not everything has to have a point…”
I used to believe that things happened for a reason, not anymore. I just found it too hard to find reasons why some people died in 9/11 and others didn’t, why young children are molested or raped, why parents die prematurely and leave families behind, why bad things happen to good people. Now I just believe things happen and then reason comes out of the event as well as the way you chose to deal with it. If I believed that God did things to people instead of helping people through things, then I would no longer be a believer.
I used to believe that things happened for a reason, not anymore. I just found it too hard to find reasons why some people died in 9/11 and others didn’t, why young children are molested or raped, why parents die prematurely and leave families behind, why bad things happen to good people. Now I just believe things happen and then reason comes out of the event as well as the way you chose to deal with it. If I believed that God did things to people instead of helping people through things, then I would no longer be a believer.
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