March 4, 2010 "Those are the breaks..."

In my last post I wrote “I haven’t written for awhile because we’ve been having a lot of difficulties with Porter. I can’t write in frustration because I don’t want that to become our focus. We, as patiently as we can, wait out the challenging moments, knowing that our charismatic, inventive son is still there and is also frustrated.” That was January 25^th. February was a very frustrating month. The highlight of the month was Porter turning 10. My facebook post on his birthday said, “Porter was in my dreams, my hopes, and my heart long before he arrived ten years ago today. Thanks for letting him take up some room in each of your hearts! I’m fortunate that these special boys of mine have brought out family so much love and support.”
I’ve been waiting to write, and waiting, and waiting some more. Porter’s parent teacher conference was tonight. Two of the first things we heard:“The principal would like to meet with you after we’re done here if you have the time,” and “Porter threw a book at me today.”  If I don’t start writing again, even out of frustration, I think I will need to develop some other vice to even out this emotional rollercoaster ride. So I’m writing, through the bad, as I wait again for some good.
Porter is frustrated, angry, sleep deprived, anxious and LOVED, loved by us, and loved by so many others. The principal wanted to talk with us out of concern for Porter. All have noticed his behavior recently take a turn for the worst. We are frustrated, angry, sleep deprived, anxious and parents, Porter’s parents. We will continue to do whatever we need to do to help him. That’s the frustrating part for us, figuring out what to do. We’re working on it though, beginning with an appointment with a neurologist this Friday.
It breaks my heart to know Porter is suffering. I broke down tonight. I’m hoping for a breakthrough in the near future.