June 17, 2009 "Golden, Lonely, or Eerie?"

I’m sitting home alone, ALL alone, for the first time in I can’t remember how long. I’ve been alone away from home, but it is a very rare occasion that I’m alone at home. At first I’m like a kid in a candy store - What should I do first, next, at all? Doing nothing really isn’t an option, since I feel like that would waste this every-once-in-a-long-while opportunity that I’m getting. And I’m talking a matter of less than 2 hours. Do I do something productive or relaxing? Should I do my reading assignment for class or read for pleasure? What do I do with this precious time?

After considering my options for only a few minutes, I come to the realization that whatever I do will be more than fine because I’ll be doing it WITHOUT INTERUPTIONS! There won’t be anyone here to ask me for anything, nothing and everything in between! I won’t have to stop doing something to get someone a drink, wind up a toy, or prepare a meal. Though that is all a part of motherhood, and I love being a mother, it’s nice to get a break. I liken this little snippet of me time to when we’re out eating at a restaurant, and Porter has to go to the bathroom. Yeah! I have just a few minutes to get a few bites in and enjoy my food before they get back. So we finish the meal together, sort of, because Clint is done and staring at me wondering why I still have so much food on my plate.

Is silence golden? No, especially when it means not hearing Parker’s laughter as I chase him around outside. Is silence lonely? It is when Clint is out of town and I can’t hear the sound of him breathing while he sleeps. Is silence eerie? When something makes a big racket in the absence of noise (like when bundles of shingles waiting to be put on fall off our roof and crash to the ground) it can be a little eerie.  

Luckily, it is what is. Silence is nice at the time I’m experiencing it. I get it where I can and try not to wish for it when I’m not able to have it. It’s about being in the moment and enjoying that moment whatever it happens to be and whenever it happens to be there. Less than 2 hours of uninterrupted me time, or just a few minutes to enjoy my meal, I’ll take it!